Balance part 2

Balance in Homeschool


One of the best things about homeschooling is that you can tailor each child's education to that particular child. One of the worst things about homeschooling is that you have to know or at least take a pretty good guess about what individual child needs. The shocking thing is that I don't always get it right the first time. This thought haunts me at night and keeps me searching message boards, reading yet another book and buying even more curricula looking for just the right one. I will admit that a good 70% of my time is either spent actually homeschooling, reading about homeschooling, talking about homeschooling or thinking about homeschooling. This might qualify as an obsession.

The first several months of the school year is spent just trying everything out, the next in evaluating how everything is working, by January I have changed several things and then it is time to start thinking about the next year.

I always start the year overly ambitious and add on too many things, by mid September I am taking things off the kids schedule. As I spoke about in Balance part 1, I have been trying to add in some balance to my life and I have had to take a seriously look at some of our academic choices so that both the kids and I can achieve a little more balance. The first thing I had to do was take a long hard look at where Caileigh and Collin are. They are only 10 and in the current pattern they would graduate very early. I had to take a serious look at how much I would have to push in the next couple of years to be able to have them ready for high school and after a struggle with my pride I talked to Scott about giving them an extra year in middle school. Scott sees things so much more calmly. I thought I was sharing some earth shattering news and he just said, "that seems like a good idea, that way they can off to college at 18. They would finish the history cycle like you want before high school wouldn't they?". I replied, "yes", and the conversation was over with a "Good thinking, honey". I stopped pushing the twins quite so hard and school has gone smoother and I am at a lot more peace with that decision.

I have had to think about Connor's schooling as well. I have had to think about where we want him academically and what we actually need to do to accomplish that. I have had to balance the academic workload to the extra-curricular activities that we deem important: piano, karate, and Bible Bowl. I also need to give the poor boy time to read a fun book, to play with his brother and sister and to hang out with his friends. Life cannot be academics alone. ( I know, those of you who know me well are asking yourselves if I am feeling okay..)

For me, balance requires me to stop pushing so hard but for others balance might be pushing a little harder. When I worked at a Focus on the Family, Dr Dobson always said, "Be a student of your spouse and your children.". I find this to be so true, when I become a student of my kids I become more cognizant of what they need, not what I want. I learn to balance academics with outside life and give all of us a little down time. I schedule a fun activity at least once a day and I make sure I play with them.

I am working hard at being what God wants me to be and to be the wife, mom, teacher and friend that He desires me to be. Apparently, that means that I have to be more balanced and not as driven. It is hard for me but I do have to admit that home has been a more peaceful, fun place to be.

Categories: parenting

Balance part 1

Sometimes, it is hard to find balance.  Balance between the have -to and want- to.  Balance between being a Mom and a Homeschool Mom.  Balance between being a Mom and a Wife.  Balance between work and play.  This year, I have found that I am not so great at balance.


This year has felt like a year of all work and no play.  There are some key areas that I have found lacking in my life.  Areas that I have let go and they have cost me.  God has been really dealing with me heart in the matter of balance and showing me areas in which my pride and my lack of balance is wrong and is costing me.

The first area that God has shown me that I have been seriously lacking balance has been in my marriage.  Everything is mostly fine but this year has the one of the first years that I have not felt that deep connection to my husband and it has been my fault.  I was so focused on making sure everything else was running on all cylinders that I let my husband fall from my top priority list.  I even forgot my Anniversary this year until Scott reminded me and it was my 15th!  ( I know, I know, so horrible!) As the end of September rolled around, I realized just how big of a problem this could potentially be.  At first, I blamed my husband, cause that is so much easier than taking the blame myself.  Then God grabbed me by my collar and kept me up all night.  In order to finally go to sleep, I promised that I would try the "Love Dare".  I knew we had it in the house and it would be a tangible way of putting my husband first in my time.  It was amazing just how quickly my marriage and my attitude changed after putting my husband first.  I think there is a Bible verse about that somewhere....

I remembered all that advice I give to young Mom and new homeschoolers about taking time to date your spouse and I made time.  They haven't been big dates but little ones to go get ice cream or go dream big about where we want to be or even just have a quick dinner at Wahoo's.  We have had a great time and have re-connected in those quiet minutes.

Balance is hard to find but I am going to strive to attain it.   Next, balance in homeschooling...



Categories: parenting

Let it Snow!

It's snowing! It is supposed to snow a bunch! I made Scott open the curtains so I could watch it fall to the ground. I know by March that I will be far less excited about snow but the first snow of the season is a joyous event. That it is supposed to be a substantial snow makes it even more exciting.

Let it snow!

My Little Man

My Little Man is curious - within reason.

My Little Man is so very handsome.  I love his curls.  He doesn't like them as much.

My Little Man is an explorer, again within reason.  His cautious soul keeps he and his sister out of trouble.

My Little Man loves his big brother.  They are best buds, which is something we have worked long and hard at.

My Little Man puts up with his crazy and annoying Mom.  

My Little Man only puts up with so much annoyance and then he's done.  Be warned.

My Little Man loves to test his theories and wants to make sure he is right.

Collin is my snuggle buddy, the first one to sense if Mom is sad or worried or tired.  He's the first one to give me a hug and tell me that I am beautiful.  He is also the first one to tell me if he thinks I am wrong. Particularly if I don't agree him.  He also has a bit of Tom Sawyer in him.  I think he convinced Caileigh and Connor to do his laundry for several months before I figured out what he was doing.  Collin wants to do what is right.  He is black and white and detailed.  He loves God and is working on tempering judgement with mercy.  Collin is the most like his Daddy which makes me smile as they talk Star Wars, or walk along or agree that we extroverts are out of control.  Collin is competitive, he is a force to behold on a soccer field or anything that involves Mr. Vic.  They have a longstanding rivalry.  Collin is diligent but might like to rub that fact in his sisters nose.  Collin is protective, you do not want to mess with those he deems as his.  His sister, his Mom, his friends, his Daddy, his brother and his Miss Mo.

Happy 10th year Little Man, even several months late.  I love you and am so glad you are mine.

Categories: parenting

Goal setting

Each year we set new goals for our kids in three areas - spiritual, personal and academic. It helps us to be deliberate in training our kids to be purposeful in our parenting for we know that every moment counts. We know that we now have less years with our kids in our home than we have already had and that reminds us again to be purposeful. We want our kids to be prepared academically, spiritually, and with the necessary life skills to be ready for whatever God has for them later.

And honestly, looking at these sweet faces, aren't they worth the extra thought and planning it takes to be deliberate?









For more info as to how to set up goals, see my blog on Family Purpose.

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Created to be Unique -

Every summer I see yards that are beautifully manicured, every flower is in the perfect place, every bush has been planned out to make a harmonious whole. At least once each summer I think, "I need to put more of an effort into our yard, my flower beds should look like that". There are people that I pass that I think that too. "I should put more of an effort to be that put together. I could be more stylish, more tailored.". In the end though, whether it's because I am too lazy or that's just not my style, I grow to appreciate what I have and who I am. My flowers reminded me of that this evening.

Once upon a time, I planted these flowers in our front flower bed. I don't think I even paid attention to whether they were annuals or perennials. They were pretty, so I planted them. Every year since then, they come back all over the yard. They come back in strength and number each year and in the most surprising places. Each year, I get excited to see where they are going to crop up next. They weren't planned, they aren't supposed to grow alongside the sidewalk but they do and I love that. It makes smile. They are a little wild and unruly but they are pink and burgundy and white and are going to grow whether you like it or not. My backyard is like that too, a little overgrown and unruly but so very peaceful. It's me and in the end, I feel comfortable and content there.

Caileigh came out while I was pondering all of this and I just once more wanted to remind her that she was created to be unique, she's not like anyone else and God has a special and unique plan for her life. There may be others who are more polished, or manicured or prettier(not that I think that's possible, I find her to be beautiful) or have a better schedule or may be a better cook but that God made her special and unique, just the way He wanted her to be.

As Moms, I think we often compare ourselves to other Moms to our detriment. God made us unique and He gave us unique children who need us. Not someone else but us, and with His help we can be the Mom, the wife, the friend, the daughter that we need to be. I often pray that God make me the Mom that my kids need me to be.

I learn so much from other women in my life, how to be a better cook, how to parent better, a great new curricula that will change our lives. I am challenged by great Godly women to manage my home better, to make my husband breakfast and lunch a couple times a week, to speak more respectfully, to say sorry immediately but in the end I am grateful to be me. I can be a better me, but still the unique person God created me to be.

Today, I want to remind us all to be the Mom, wife, friend that God created us to be. Comparisons are odious or odorous as Shakespeare says and God made us to be unique. Be content in being who God made you to be, He doesn't make mistakes.


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Finally!

I have finally figured put how to post from my iPad. You might hear more from me now!

School is about to start up in full force in my house so I am working on schedules, chore charts and everyone's yearly goals.

I have also cracked down on any whining and complaining as well as any dawdling that has crept up on us during this summer. I know we will better off if I deal with those issues now rather than waiting for school to begin.



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My Girl

Caileigh and Collin just turned 10 and so I wanted to post a little about each of them. This post is about my girl, the Princess.

My girl is ... dramatic. She doesn't get called dramagirl for nothing.

My girl marches to the beat of her own drum.

My girl loves adrenaline.

My girl is beautiful and her twin is handsome.

My girl loves a new adventure, a new place to explore.

My girl is infinitely curious.

My girl is brave. She will touch anything, including banana slugs which none of the rest of us would.

My girl is silly.

My girl is also kind and loving. She loves little ones and has endless patience with them even though she has no patience in the rest of her life. She is smart and witty and is learning the ancient art of sarcasm, within limits, of course. My girl loves Jesus and wants to help the whole world because He loves the whole world. My girl lives life to the fullest, forgives and forgets quickly. My girl is crafty. I have no idea where that comes from. My girl is learning to control her tongue and her quick anger, not an easy task. My girl is charming and impulsive. She is a delight to be around and brings joy to my life everyday.

Happy 10th Birthday, Caileigh Girl!

My Categories: parenting

Family Ties and the Beach

I've mentioned before how I think that every family should take a road trip to see how their family ties and family relationships are faring. You can see a lot in a 17 day trip in the same car, staying in the same hotel rooms with an occasional stay at family members. You see the good, the bad and the ugly, clearly in very close range. Our family desperately needed the togetherness and mostly we saw great things in our kids and the relationships between the three kids.

When our kids were younger we worked very hard at making sure that they were friends. We made sure they treated each other with respect, talked kindly to each other and loved each other better than they loved themselves. In those early years we stressed that if you could not be kind and loving to your siblings then you were not allowed to have play dates with your friends. We stressed that we are to give our best to our family and our friends. We talk respectfully to each other in our home and if we don't we say sorry. We work out conflict with words and we look for the sin in our own hearts before accusing another. We outlawed tattle telling unless it was a case of personal danger ( we had to put that rule into place because Caileigh was likely to do something crazy and I needed to know). If our kids are having a conflict they know it is better to work it out themselves before Mom has to step in. I usually wait until they clearly can't compromise before I step in but then there serious consequences if Mom has to step in for all involved. Yes, the kids have conflicts and they disagree but they are quick to resolved the issue and move on.

We can see the fruit showing in their relationships with each other. Even squished in a seat, sharing the same room and having only each other to talk and play with for the majority of the vacation, they showed such sweet patience and love with each other.

I saw this shown even as Caileigh was picking out her birthday present. She was trying to decide whether to get a scooter that was pink or one that was black and red. Caileigh chose the black and red one because she wanted to be able to share with her brothers and she didn't want them to look silly on a pink one. We had to get the pink one because it was the only one left, so I told Caileigh that the boys would just have to be secure in their manliness and ride the pink one anyway, but I really appreciated her thoughtful heart.

Do the work early, when they are still in the toddler and pre-school years and you will see the fruit in later years.

Categories: parenting

Summer Craziness

Okay, so I know I haven't posted in well, forever, but I have several very good excuses.


1.  I can't figure out why my lovely i-pad won't let me post.  I had several very witty posts planned while I was off at a convention but I couldn't get it to work.  Technology is sometimes my nemesis.


2.  I have been busy.  Really, really busy.  Along with all the at home stuff, I have been speaking and working at homeschool conventions since March.  I love talking and speaking about home schooling and to home schoolers but it does not leave me much free time time when I get home.


3.  I went on a working vacation for several weeks squeezing in two convention in the midst of hanging out with family in the pacific northwest, hanging out at the beach (which was wonderful), sightseeing and just spending much needed time off with my husband and kids.


So, I have a lot of good reasons but I am sorry for not posting in so long.


I think I'll post some pictures of our craziness and maybe you'll forgive me.

  My cousins and I.  Stephanie and Laura both have sets of twins, too!  Somewhere we have pictures of all the twins but I can't find them right now.  I apparently terrorized Steph and Laura with stories when we were kids.  I remember none of that.

Aunt Marci and Uncle Mitch.  Don't they look lovely?  Two seconds before, Uncle Mitch had his finger in her ear and she was sticking out her tongue.  I love them!

 Laura and her husband, Todd.  I love the two pictures together.  Todd said something in his quiet way which just set Laura off laughing.  I love that.  I am not sure why I don't have one of Steph and her husband, Dave.  Did I mention that the two sisters married two brothers and lived back yard to back yard?  We had sooooo much fun hanging out and laughing.

 My Uncle Mitch and Caileigh.  The older I get, the more I realize that Uncle Mitch and I may have similar personalities which scares me.  It also means that he and Caileigh share a similar personality.  Be afraid, very afraid.

8 adults and 10 kids around a campfire making s'mores is chaotic but very fun.

Water fight!

Football was great fun other than the times that the grown-ups (yes, Uncle Mitch, I mean you) ran over the little kids in their quest to win.  No emergency trips had to be made so we were all happy with that.

We had a great time but what I loved most was the camaraderie between family members who all love Jesus, have a great sense of humor and kids who are delightful to be around.  All of them from little to big.  I love being around kids who are well loved but well trained, they are a blessing.  My kids fit right in and had a wonderful time.  I think we'll have to plan many more cousin parties.  

Categories: parenting

My Dream

My Dream

Yesterday, at church, the Pastor asked us to write down our dream for the future. I struggled with this at first. I wrote down something that I thought I'd like to do someday but it wasn't my dream or what I wanted for the future. Sometimes, I think that I have the best of life right now. I get to do what I love to do, be with my kids, watch them grow, teach them and help others to do the same. I get to make meals for my hard working husband, support him and to love and enjoy our extended family and friends. I love my life. It's good here. I couldn't ask for more. My dream? I think I am living it, right now.

Then God gave me a new dream. In a second he spoke to my heart and showed me a vision, right in the middle of church. I saw myself in 10 years with my family around me. Connor was a tall man smiling gently on a girl leading her into the pew. My ever so handsome Collin ushering his beautiful twin sister in after Connor and Scott holding my hand as we sat with our adult children. We were all happy, loving to be together and worshipping together. Then in a flash, God showed me 5 or 10 years past that. We were all older and all the kids were married and had kids. Scott and I each had a small child by the hand as the parents were managing baby bags and getting everyone settled into the pew. We sat together worshipping and enjoying each other.

I knew that God had given me a dream to look forward to and work towards. I didn't even mind the gray hair in my vision. That's how I knew the vision was from God, I would never picture myself with gray hair - ever. I am always a little afraid of the day when my kids leave to start their lives without me, but God gave me a beautiful vision of a family whose relationships are strong and vital. A family who loves God and loves each other. A future where a family is strong in unity but without the guilt and manipulations that are often present. I want my kids to be independent in their lives and strong in their family unity while knowing that their Dad and I support and love them without strings. That's a dream worth working for. I might need to re-look at our family mission and goal planning to make sure we are on the right track to fulfill that dream, God willing.

Kitchen Timer Re-Do

Kitchen Timer - An essential

Have you discovered the usefulness of the kitchen timer? In "Creative Corrections" by Lisa Whelchel she discusses using an egg timer to help your children get things done. I started by using it in the classroom ( "You have 20 minutes to get this assignment done") and now have several stationed around the house. The kitchen timer is really useful for getting the kids dressed and chores done in the morning. I give them 10 minutes to get dressed, teeth brushed and morning chores done. If they do everything in the allotted time, they get 3 "marbles" in their special jar. After they get 20 marbles each we go have a special treat, a trip to Coldstone for icecream or a new book from Borders, something realtively inexpensive but out of the ordinary. If they do not accomplish their tasks in that time frame, I take marbles away each extra minute it takes. I use this with getting ready for bed, cleaning their bedrooms and with anything I need them to do in a reasonable time frame. Try It! I bet you'll become addicted to the egg timer as well.

It's The Little Things

When Caileigh and Collin were born, their beloved Alex and Miss Mo got them little on the go blankies. Caileigh's was a soft pink silk and Collin's a soft blue silk. Collin loved his from the get go. He loved to rub his "silky" between his thumb and pointer finger and then suck his other thumb. It was it his happy place, his "all is right in the world" place. By year two, we had Alex get him another one as he had worn through the first one. Then he took Cailiegh's by year three. He didn't care if it was pink. It felt like silky and it was all good. Through the years, Collin has wheedled Grammy into putting new linings on it. He stopped sucking his thumb long ago but silky is important to this texture sensitive little man.

Several weeks ago, he came to me upset because silky was once again worn through. I explained to him that it might be time to put silky away but he was so horrified by my suggestion that he took silky quickly back to his room where it was safe. While I was gone to homeschool convention he enlisted his sister's help to find, cut and pin new material to silky. They carefully cut out the label to pin to the front, "just so everyone would know that it's still silky" and handed it to me when I got home. He asked if I would sew it for him. I told him that I would later in the week and he thanked me and hopped off. (Collin doesn't walk anywhere, he hops, jumps, skips or runs - there is no walking)

I put the silky on the linen closet and went off to do something important, like laundry. I have been really busy doing important stuff - like laundry, cleaning packing Scott off to China, going to conventions and Collin hasn't once reminded me of my promise or whined or complained, he just waited.

Tonight as we got from Bible Bowl and Rush Hour at church I saw the silky and decided that I might as well get it done. I pulled out the sewing machine and got to work. It probably took me 10 minutes, less time than it took me to write this post. I went to his room and gave it to him. My sweet little man jumped up and gave me a huge hug and said, "Thank you, Mommy. I know you are busy so thanks for fixing it for me." He then proceeded to pray over me and thank God that his Mom fixed his silky.

I am once again humbled by my children. They take what I have to give with grateful and loving hearts. Even when what I have to give isn't so great at all. I forget that it's in the little things. The times I stop to read a book with them or have a moment to chat with them or when I make their favorite cookies, they are always ready to meet me with a loving heart. I think God's like that too. My children teach me about God and His loving heart, everyday. Today, it was through an old, well-loved worn silky.

Categories: parenting

Pianos with a Purpose

One of Connor's friends came up with a plan to raise money for children in Ethiopia and asked Connor to be involved. Connor is really a follower at heart but he loved K's plan so he jumped right in. Their band of friends ( I call them K's minions) are all pianists so they decided to throw a benefit concert. K and her lovely mother put it all together, Connor made a program, Caileigh and I made cookies, and Collin and K's brothers were the ushers. They had 5 or 6 performers who were all in middle school and they put on a beautiful concert to raise money for an orphange in Ethiopia and money to help build another very much needed well. It was beautifully done. People came, the kids played and they raised several thousand dollars. That's right, middle schoolers put together and played in piano benefit concert to change their world.
These kids responded to what they had been hearing in in their home schools (although not all of them are home schooled), church and Sunday School class and decided to put others first and do something to change someone else's life. We hear so much about teens being selfish and unkind but here was a concrete example of teens believing that God's word is true and that they have a responsibility to be God's hands in this world and they used the talents God gave them to do so. Amazing.
Our job as parents is to tell them that they can change the world and support them when they want to. I want my kids to be world changers. I want them to be servants. I want them to listen to God's voice and obey it.
I want to be just like them and change the world.
Categories: parenting

Self Control, again!

This is one of those posts I wrote several years ago but am re-posting to share. Self-control hands has become standard operating procedure at our house through out the years. I even use it when I need to keep my mouth quiet, if I have my hands together it means I am working hard to control my tongue and it works - mostly. All those years I was told, "teach them when they are little or you'll have to teach it in the teen years" is now upon us and I am SOOOOOO glad we listened, cause now they are SOOOOO big and it would be way harder to put a pre-teen who's throwing a tantrum in time out. No, my kids aren't perfect and neither are Scott and I but we have a basis of training and moral (Biblical) reason why's to fall back on when times get tough. I'm sure it's going to get even more rough but I love the character and decisions I am beginning to see in my kids.

Self-control is one of those fruits of the spirit that touches everything in our life. It touches what we say, what we do and how we do it. Webster's defines self-control as “restraint excercised over one's own implulses, emotions or desires.” Learning self-control is a life long exercise but we can begin introducing the topic while our children are young. Self-control techniques can really help during those tumultuous pre-school years. My four year old daughter gets told to exercise self-control daily if not hourly over the dramatics she presents us with. This is a very practical lesson to teach to your young (or old) ones that will serve them well all the days of their life.


Idea one: Titus 2:6 says, “... encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity and seriousness.” Many times as parents we dismiss behaviour's that are 'out of control' because they are too young to understand or because that's what two year olds do. I believe that we need to set a standard for our children and even though they might not always achieve it, the standard needs to stay the same. As parents, sit down and dicuss what standards you have for your children, particularly in self-control. For instance, we don't allow temper tantrums. They have the choice of either gaining self-control or going to their rooms. Once your standards are set, sit down with your children and tell them what your home standard's are. With young children you might say, “Mommy and Daddy will not allow you to yell, kick or scream, do you understand? If you choose to do that you may go to room.” Your child (you may have to prompt them) needs to be able to repeat back to you what you just said, so that you know they understand. As a side note, be sure you are not treating frustration tantrums (“I know this block tower goes together, but I can't do it.”) and temper tantrums (“I'm not going to bed and you can't make me!”) the same. In both situations, the child needs to gain self-control but their motives are different.

In a parenting class my husband and I attended we were introduced to “self-control hands”. This is a great technique for little one's, actually it works for older kids as well. They simply place their hands in their lap and hold them together. For many children this helps them to focus and it direct much of their energy and wiggliness to their hands. To introduce this, you might play a game of 'who can hold their hands together and not talk, the longest.' This is a fun game because it doesn't take long for someone to erupt into giggles. As your children become more adept at this, offer a prize for everyone who can have self-control hands and quiet mouths for 30 seconds, then 60 seconds and so on. My children (even my very busy, very wiggly, outspoken little girl) have mastered the three minute mark. In situations where I can see they are about to lose control, I have them practice self-control hands and it has saved us much trouble. Make sure and practice in calm times so that you can use it in turbulent ones.

Remember to praise, prase, praise! Children thrive on praise so point out specific moments when they have used self-control. For instance, “I saw that you were about to get mad when your friend cut in line but I was really proud of the way you used self-control.” Also be sure to praise them when they are about to touch something or do something they shouldn't and use self-control instead.
See also: parenting

Categories: parenting

Eye Bounce

I wrote this particular blog item several years ago but I wanted to re-visit it as my kids have become older. The eye bounce has been a great tool as my boys, especially, have gotten older. Connor often tells Collin to eye bounce even before I can now. I love that they are watching over each other's purity, although I wish it wasn't quite as necessary as it is. We can't hardly watch a commercial without needing the eye bounce. Anyway, here's the original blog.

Little eyes sometimes seem to notice everything that you don't want them to notice. At the mall, they notice the store with scary items in the front window or the store with the beautiful woman posing in underwear. There are so many things these days that are inappropriate for little eyes to see that it gets exhausting having to tell them," Don't look at that!". Isaiah 33 :14 & 15 says,

"He who walks righteously and speaks what is right, who rejects gain from extortion and keeps his hand from accepting bribes, who stops his ears against plots of murder and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil- ¹⁶ this is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied, and water will not fail him."

We need to teach our little ones to shut their eyes from contemplating evil. At this year's homeschool convention I heard a speaker talk about how she taught her children an "eye bounce". An eye bounce is simply bouncing your eye from the inappropriate sight to something else, quickly. This is an easy way to teach your kids ( especially useful for boys as they get older) to eye bounce away from things that God doesn't want in our mind's eye and our heart. I also taught my children the little song " Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see, For the Father up above is looking down in love so be careful little eyes what you see." This helps them to remembe that God does care what they see and what they put into their little innocent hearts.

Use the eye bounce this week as you go to the mall or anywhere in public that you can quietly remind them to "eye bounce" away from things that are not appropriate. Make it a game and have fun with it, just beware of funny looks as your children (if they're anything like mine) yell "Eye bounce" in chorus.

Categories: parenting

The Meanest Mom Ever

Remember? I let them off for 3 weeks at Christmas.

I am proudly claiming the title of "The Meanest Mom Ever". Not that my kids would ever say that. They happen to like life.

It is -10 and the ps have called for snow days for the past two days. Piano is cancelled, karate is cancelled, the roads are slick and icy. Daddy is working from home.

Are we having a snow day? Please? No, we are not. I have a schedule to keep and stuff to do. I am even sick and we are still doing school.

So, hand me over the title. I accept it proudly. The kids will thank me someday, maybe.

Categories: parenting

Prepping for Convention Season

For all of you home schooling Moms, you know what's coming? Convention season. For some of us, it's an exciting thought, for others it's a dreaded thought. I think we, as home school parents, should go to the convention every year, whether we like it or not. Why? Because it helps us to be better educated and if we don't need the education surely some newbie does and they could use a veteran's advice.

I happen to love convention season. I love going to conventions whether I am working the convention or attending the convention. I love all the books, all the new curriculums and the science kits, oh and the history add-ons and did I mention the books. (Seriously, where else can you buy owl pellets, a how-to knit book, a Bible and Historical comparison timeline, an Adventures in Odyssey CD, and a Laura Ingalls Wilder bonnet? That's awesome - I'm just sayin') I love that I could learn about how to teach reading and how to teach Calculus within a two hour time span. I love all the possibilities. It just makes me happy.

I am aware that the convention can also be an overwhelming, scary place full of too many options. So I have decided to give to you my list of convention prep. I have been going to conventions since I was 15. For those of you counting, that's a long, long, LONG time. First as a student and now as a Mom, so I have some well used practical hints.

1. Make time with your husband to pray and write out your goals for your home school and your kids. Click on the blog title, "Prepping for Convention Season" for a link to my Family Purpose blog to help you do that. Bring these goals with you to the convention to help you narrow down the choices.

2. Read Debra Bell's "The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling" before you go. It will help you get an understanding of the types of curriculum out there. Veterens and speakers will toss arounds words like, "classical, Charlotte Mason, literature based, unit studies and lap books" and it will give you some understanding of what in the world they are talking about.

3. Go with a friend who has been homeschooling longer than you. Bring your husband. Pay a babysitter, bribe your mother or do whatever you need to do to have your husband come with you. My husband is a life saver at the convention. He sees the bigger picture and helps me to pick curriculum that meets our goals and he carries all the heavy stuff. I love that.

4. Make a list before you go of what you need. Don't go in blind, do the research, visit web-sites, message boards, e-mail me, talk to the lady at church that home schools to figure out what you need.

5. Make a budget - be realistic. I spend at least $1000 a year total on all three kids curriculum although with high school looming that number is about to jump, I fear. That $1000 looks a lot but check out what a private school costs. Some people do it with less, some more. I buy what we think is best for our kids. Sometimes that's the most expensive curriculum, sometimes it's not. Keep your husband out of your budget money. We have more books on the Roman Empire than I know what to do with.

6. Plan to go for more than one day. I find I need the first day for looking around and the second or third day for buying.

7. Our cardinal rule - NEVER BUY MAJOR CURRICULUM ON THE FIRST DAY. No matter what that amazing speaker says, go home( or the hotel room) think about it, talk to your husband, look at your goals and sleep on it. This has saved me a world of trouble. I can't count the number of times I have changed my mind after some thought and prayer and sleep. Trust me.

8. Wear really comfortable shoes and bring a sweater, notebook , pens, caffeine and chocolate. You can thank me later.

9. Plan time to shop. It's tempting to go to all the speakers but you need time to get hands-on with the curriculum. Ask questions of the vendors. Ask the vendors if their curriculum fits your goals. ( I love doing this - it saves me so much time) Don't be afraid to spend major time at a booth, especially if it's going to be your main curriculum ( think MFW, Sonlight, TOG etc). Ask me how much time I spent at the MFW booth before we decided it was the "one". David Hazell knew me by name and sight. It's also okay to just say that you need time with the Teacher's Manual looking at the curriculum. Do what you need to do.

10. Buy fun things to bring home to your kids. Buy a bonnet, a rubber Bowie knife, a game, a new Adventure in Odyssey and a new book to read. They will think conventions are great.

If you are not a home schooler and you just want great, God honoring books, CD's, games, devotionals, parenting books, how-to's on grinding your own wheat, whatever, the home school convention is a great place to go as well.

Hope this helps and hope to see you there!

Categories: parenting

Getting Back to Real Life is Hard

We had a great Christmas vacation. Hanging out, going skiing, watching movies, playing with our friends, being with family, it was wonderful. However, there were a few moments with the kids that I thought, "Uh-oh, we may be too comfortable." I chose to ignore it though, purposefully, because it was vacation.

Boy, have I paid for it. I knew school would make us all be more disciplined and that we would have some issues and I was right. It's a little bit like the first month of the school year only colder and with less light and less opportunity to throw them all outside to vent all that energy. It's amazing what three weeks of looser boundaries can bring. Not utter chaos, but close.

I am reminded that consitency is the key and that I need to pick my battles, again. It is nice that the re-training period is shorter now than when they were younger but no less painful.

So, I stick my nose back into my parenting books and look again in Proverbs and Psalms and James for motivation and get to it. We'll all be better off if I do.

I did love our Christmas though. I am putting up pictures to remind myself how much fun we had and will again, someday, prayerfully soon.

Categories: parenting

"Change Your Face"

We had one of the Directors of the Family Ministry (who is the Producer, Writer, Director and general "Power That Be" of the Rush Hour Program) over for dinner with some friends during the Christmas Season. While we were chatting over dinner, he shared something his Mom used to say when it was apparent that he needed to change his attitude. She would lean over for his hearing only and tell him, "Change Your Face!" which meant that his attitude was showing and he was to immediately, if not sooner, change his attitude. I thought that this was genius! I immediately started looking for an opportunuty to use it and I found it!

I had told Connor to go out and get some exercise, which to Connor is worse than death, and his attitude was clearly showing on his face. I calmly looked over and merely said, "Change your face." His eyes opened wide and he asked, "What? Change it to what?" I then replied, "Your attitude is showing on your face so you clearly need to change your heart to obedience and then change your face." I explained where I had learned this and he laughed and "changed his face". I loved it, it was a great moment. It also gave me a phrase to use quietly that has some meaning behind it that my kids will understand.

Of course this means that Scott will say it to me when I am showing my disapproval or have a bad attitude but I think it will be well worth it. Not to mention that I know that there are many times when I need to change my face.

Categories: parenting