10 Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know

This an old post but as we are a couple months of school and I have talked to several Moms who are struggling, I thought I would post this again...



I have been talking to and seeing on message boards homeschool Moms discouraged about their first weeks of school. The kids are whiny and complaining, no one likes their curriculum and all the Mom is doing is putting out fires, not teaching. This is especially true of new homeschoolers. Where are the idyllic days spent reading with their child or making amazing lapbooks or crafting an amazing project based on what they are reading in history? They have heard about other homeschoolers getting all of this done and more. Why does it seem like it is a constant battle just to get math and Language Arts done? Why don't the kids seem to be enjoying the great projects that Mom has loving prepared? What has happened to the beautiful lessons plans that Mom has slaved over? Homeschooling is hard.
Don't worry and take heart. The first weeks of school are always the worst - sometimes even the first two months are bad. It takes everyone awhile to get used to this new regime. For a regime change has occurred especially if the child has previously been in a traditional school setting. Life has changed and there are new rules in place.
Don't change curriculum in the first two months for it may be less about curriculum and more about character training. It is more likely to be more about testing Mom than in a bad test score. It may be about seeing if Mom is really serious about this schedule than about whether the new schedule works. It may be about expectations, both Moms and the kids. So don't jump ship until the seas stop rocking and then you can take a serious look at what's working and what's not.
Here are some practical things that I have found to be helpful:
1. There is absolutely no whining or complaining in school. period. Teach your child Phil. 2:14-16. God doesn't like it ( and neither does Mom) so don't do it.
2. Have consequences pre-planned for whining and a lack of diligence. If you whine in our house or are not diligent in your work - you get more work but if you are, you get a marble in your jar which at a certain level will reward you with a special treat of some kind. This method works great with older kids, try a treasure box with pre-K - 2nd, filled with cheap little toys. Make sure and find something to reward your child with daily.
3. Have realistic expectations. A child will not sit quietly and let you read to them for hours. I learned this hard way. Let them play quietly with legos or color or draw while you read, it will go better.
4. Start school slowly. Add in the basics the first week, then slowly add in everything else. You will all be happier - trust me.
5. Plan fun things if the kids have been diligent. If the kids work diligently then take them out for an ice cream or better yet wait until Dad is home and give him the good report and then Dad can take them out while you have a bath.
6. Don't compare your homeschool with someone else's. Your friend, who homeschools, does not always have her act together either. Her house is not always clean and her husband does not always come home to a well-prepared dinner and her children do not sing like the VonTrapp's.
7. School time is sacred. Don't take phone calls, don't plan Bible studies, don't answer the door. It's your number one job for that time period. Limit outside activities during school hours. I don't do anything in school time, not co-op, not piano not anything. That's what the afternoon is for.
8. Have an ending time. School ends at this time - no matter what. Pick up where you left off the next day. Do your most important subjects first. I have a four day schedule so that I can use Fridays for pick up subjects.
9. Schedule time for cleaning and laundry and dinner prep. Most of my housework happens on Friday. Look at flylady.net for help in scheduling housework. Check out allrecipes.com for great slow cooker recipes. Dinner is done and you don't have to worry about it.
10. Make time for yourself and your husband. Schedule dates and keep them. Go out with your girlfriends or even just call them (after school of course). Have a mandated quiet time each afternoon, everybody goes to their room for atleast and hour - including you.
Homeschooling is hard but so is every good thing. Parenting is hard, marriage is hard, being a Christ-follower is hard but they are worth all the pain, sweat and tears I put into them. Homeschooling is the same way. More than worth it. There is nothing that I would rather do then to train and teach my children so that they will be ready for whatever amazing plan God has for them.
Have some other ideas that help you? Please let me know, my homeschool isn't perfect either and I could use all the help I can get.

"10 Practical Things" Extended - Child and Parent Training Pt 1

I have been challenged to take some of my seminars and expound on some of the ideas so I am going to try ( I said try, no promises) and be disciplined and post once a week on some of these ideas.

The seminar and article I get the most questions on is from, "Ten Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know" so I thought I would start with that.

Today we are going to talk about Parent Training.

“The reasonableness of the command to obey parents is clear to children, even when quite young.”  - Noah Webster

One of the very first things I ask Moms who are stressed and overwrought and clearly at their wits end with this crazy homeschooling thing is, “ If you ask your child to please go to the table and sit down, what happens?”  and the second thing I ask is, “How many times would it take of you asking before your child would do it?”.  More often than not, the answer comes with a pause and a stammer or even an answer that it depends on the child’s mood that day.  Children that do not obey right away make homeschooling 10 times harder than it has to be and if you have more than one child, that can make it almost impossible.  Consider this scenario -

“Johnnny and Susie, please come to the table and sit down.  We are ready to start school.”  Mom asks.  Johnny and Susie keep playing with the legos with no acknowledgement or sign of movement.

“ Kids, it is time for school.  Come over.  I have fun activities planned for today.”  The two briefly raise their heads from their toys at the mention of fun but quickly go back to playing.

“I said, it is time for school, don’t make me count to 3!”  Mom’s voice starts getting louder.  Finally, Mom comes over and takes their hands and puts the toys down and makes them come to table all the while the two have begun to wail which then wakes up little brother who has been taking a nap.  Mom struggles to get them to table and hopes the baby goes back to sleep so she can do school.  Mom is stressed, the kids are whining and crying and it is only the beginning of the day.

The calm, wonderful school day Mom has meticulously planned is now shot to pieces and she just does the best she can to teach the have-to’s in the remaining time.  Anyone would have a hard time teaching phonics and math to children who won't even come sit down at the table.  It becomes more about just getting it done than really teaching and educating. One of the interesting and more difficult parts of homeschooling is the fact that we are educating and parenting.  We are training their minds and their hearts at the same time.  You don't stop being the Mom when school starts, you just add the Teacher hat to the mix.

 Now, before we go any further, I know that some of you are thinking, “Dawn must have compliant children.  She clearly doesn’t have any strong-willed children.”  Not true, AT ALL.  We are blessed with three children, Connor, and the twins, Caileigh and Collin.  My husband often says that if we would have just had Connor we would have thought we were the best parents ever.  We said, "No", and he stopped.  We could look sternly at him and he would apologize.  Then we had the twins.  Caileigh, bless her sweet heart, is definitely my child and that is both a blessing and a curse.  I often heard growing up,  “ I hope you have a child just like you!” and I did.  Caileigh does her own thing, in her own time and is willing to let you know when she doesn’t like something.  Her twin, Collin, sees everything in black and white and while mostly obedient, if you do something that he sees as wrong ( like turning the cartoon off while he was watching), he will hold a grudge all day long. I understand, really, I do.  That’s also why I know this works.  I read all the books, went to the seminars, talked to the leaders and gathered all the information I could.


So what is a mom to do?  Plan to spend the summer training your children in first time obedience, no whining and complaining and cleaning up after themselves.  What if you are in the middle of the school year?  Then start where you are.  You can schedule homeschooling light for the next few weeks, take a week or two off or pare down on activities for the next several weeks.  It can be done in the school year, it just might take more of your time, emotions and energy than usual.

Parent Training

First things first, we need to do some parent training.  I would suggest you take a week before you start on child training to train and prepare yourself and possibly your spouse.

In my experience, one of the most powerful and helpful parenting Bible verses is Matthew 5:37 which says, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

When my children were little, I was challenged to really put this into practice in my home.  It meant that I had to take a moment and think about what they were asking and what my response would be.  It meant that if I said,’Yes’, I was committed to doing what I said I would do.  If I said I would make cookies, then I did.  If I said they could play with playdough I needed to be prepared to help get out all the playdough toys and set them up outside on the patio.  (I can not deal with playdough in the house.  It makes me crazy)  If I said that as soon I was done folding the laundry then I would take them to the park, then I did.  Sure life can get crazy and sometimes things happen but I tried to be very careful to keep my word.  I wanted my kids to know that I when I said I would do something then I would.  I didn't need to promise because my kids knew that if I said ‘Yes’, I meant, ‘Yes’.

This took me a little time to adjust to as I really needed to think about it before I said, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.  I had to weigh out all that I had to do, what other expectations I had on my time and what was most important that day.  Had I spent enough time with the kids or had I been too focused on other matters.  Did I have company coming and messy kids what the last thing I needed?  Was there a moral or Biblical reason to say ‘No’, or was it just because it might annoy me.  This last statement was one I was also challenged on, did I just say ‘No’ to things because I just didn’t really want to deal with it or did I have a valid reason to say, ‘No’? Don’t get me wrong, there were days when I said, ‘No’ and then I told them, “ Mom, really isn't up to it today.  Can we do it later in the week?’.  I really tried to limit the ‘Nos’ that had more to do with what I felt like then really whether it was a bad idea.

Saying, ‘Yes’ is far easier than the concept of saying, ‘No’ and meaning it.  Your ‘No’ as parent must hold weight.  If I tell my kids, ‘No’ they understand that I am willing to follow up on the ‘No’.  I do try and give them a why with the ‘No’ so they can learn the whys behind my ‘Nos’ and hopefully begin to see the wisdom and pattern in my ‘No’.

“No, you may not take the toy away from your sister because that is rude and the Bible says that love is not rude”.

“No, you may not play with your brother’s toys as it is not yours.  We must love and respect your brother enough to ask before we touch his things.”  I said this a lot to the twins who wanted to play with their older brothers cool toys.  Actually, they still want to play with his cool toys, but they now ask before they touch.

When I said ‘No’ to my kids, I had to be willing to follow up on whatever the consequences might be.  My ‘Yes’ meant ‘Yes’ and my ‘No’ meant ‘No’.  I didn’t count to three, I didn’t ask several times because they needed to know that I meant what I said and I was willing to follow through.  Was this fun?  Absolutely not.  There were days when I met my husband at the door and said, “The kids are sitting and reading on the couch, dinner is on the table and I won’t be back until they are all in bed”.  Saying ‘No’ and meaning it means that your children will test you on your ‘No’ and you have to have to have the fortitude to follow through.  It will be worth it though.  I don’t get angry and I don’t raise my voice but my kids know when Mom says ‘No’ she means it and they very rarely challenge that anymore.  It makes our home and much more peaceful and pleasant place.


I think that this is very first step in having your children listen to you both as a parent and a teacher and it is up to the parent to determine in their heart and mind to follow the Bible’s advice.

Categories: parenting

Starting the School Year in a Great Way

First Day of School Pictures From Days Past

The kids and I have been home for 5 days in the entire month of July.  Connor, between Bible Bowl tournaments and speaking in Barcelona has been home even less.  What this means is that I am desperately trying to play catch up with school plans.  However, there are some non-negotiables in my planning for a the start of a great school year.

1.  Start getting the kids on the school schedule several weeks before school starts.

2.  Put together chore charts and start them at the same time you start your schedule.

3.  Have some meals put in the freezer and have a list of easy crock pot meals.

4.  Start school slowly.  Add a subject or two a week until everything has been added in.

5.  Have a fun first day of school planned.  (Brooke, this is for you!)

I always have fun items for my kids on the first day of school.  For instance, I always give my kids their favorite candy bar and yes, they can eat the whole candy bar on that day.  (Which only happens on the first day of school)  I have some fun pens, pencils, notebooks and bookmarks for each child.  For younger kids this may mean items from the Disney store with their favorite Disney character.  We also have fun shirts for the first day.  In previous years, we have done tie - dye shirts for the first day but this year (shhhh!)  I have gotten them shirts from Think Geek.   I usually have a fun book for them that has nothing to do with school work.  Being that mine are older now, I got unique office items from Think Geek for them for the first day.  I also think if you have pre-schoolers they need to be included in this bounty.

Plan a fun breakfast.  My kids like me to make homemade pop tarts.  I use puff pastry or make whole wheat pie dough with a filling of cherries, apples or blueberries and put their initials on them.  I will also cook up REAL bacon or sausage.  (At my house, we generally only get turkey bacon or sausage) 

Dad goes into work a little later and prays over each child and Mommy.  

We take pictures and measurements and post them on our growth chart.

I have a picnic or fun lunch planned and then have a lighter school day.  Go to the park or the pool in the afternoon.

6.  Know that the first week will be hard but the second week will be harder.  Plan a date night for the first or second week of school.  

Review the article below.

10 Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know 











Categories: parenting

"10 Practical Things" Extended Pt 2 - Child Training

Week 2 - Child Training

When I was in the training stages with my kids, I would pick one trait to work on that week.  The pattern of the week was usually the same.

Day One - Introduce what we were going to work on.  Have them start memorizing a corresponding Bible verse.  Remind them what positive reinforcements would happen if I caught them showing this behavior.  I would also take time to remind them that they were not allowed to tell me when they showed this behavior, I must catch them at it.

Day Two - Introduce a game or activity that reinforced the behavior and practiced saying the Bible verse.

Days Three through Six- Play the game or activity, if appropriate.  Pay special attention to children and give them much praise and positive reinforcement of the behavior shown.  Make sure that you praise the kids, in front of Dad, of the times that day when they showed the behavior. Continue to practice Bible verse.

Day Seven - Have the kids recite their Bible verses. I always like to give kids a small treat, each and every time they could recite the verse for me.  Like an m&m or a jelly bean or a fruit chewie. Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Earlier on, I wanted this to resonate with my kids, that the Words of the Bible are sweet to our soul and to our mouth.  Years later, they now run for the jelly bean jar when they recite verses for me and any kids who come to my house know that if they can recite a verse, I will give them candy. On the last day, I also remind them that I will still be watching for them to show this behavior but now that I know that they know what they are supposed to do, I expect that from them.  I also warn them that there will be discipline if they fail to do what they know they are supposed to.

Now, that you have the basic pattern you put any behaviors into this.

There are several behaviors that I would recommend putting into place for a smoother home and school time.

First Time Obedience

One of the first times I presented this topic at a convention a woman stood up in the middle of the workshop and asked me what I meant by ‘first time obedience’.  I was a little taken aback but since it then happened at successive conventions, I try to define what I mean by that.  By first time, I mean, if you ask your child to sit down at the table, will they sit down the very first time you ask?  If you ask them to pick up their toys will they pick up their toys the very first time you ask?  If you ask them to come to you, will they come the very first time you call?  If your child will obey consistently ( say 80% of the time) then I would say that they are obedient the first time.

The Bible verse I use to teach this is Ephesians 6:1 “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  I would use this verse for children 2-5 years old, but for older kids I would add verses 2 and 3, “Honor your mother and father - for this is the first commandment with a promise - so that it may go well with you and you may enjoy a long life upon the earth.”


I play a modified game of hide and go seek with my kids to introduce first time obedience.  I go and hide and then call my kids.  They have to yell, “Yes, Mom” and then run to find me.  When they find me, if they have said, “Yes, Mom” then I give them a treat.  I play this several times the first time and perhaps have my husband do it too and then throughout the week, I would hide unexpectedly and call to them.  Little kids really love this but your older kids will get into it if you challenge them with your hiding places.  Teaching is so much more effective if we can think of fun ways to introduce and reinforce topics.

Categories: parenting

Prepping for Convention Season

For all of you home schooling Moms, you know what's coming? Convention season. For some of us, it's an exciting thought, for others it's a dreaded thought. I think we, as home school parents, should go to the convention every year, whether we like it or not. Why? Because it helps us to be better educated and if we don't need the education surely some newbie does and they could use a veteran's advice.

I happen to love convention season. I love going to conventions whether I am working the convention or attending the convention. I love all the books, all the new curriculums and the science kits, oh and the history add-ons and did I mention the books. (Seriously, where else can you buy owl pellets, a how-to knit book, a Bible and Historical comparison timeline, an Adventures in Odyssey CD, and a Laura Ingalls Wilder bonnet? That's awesome - I'm just sayin') I love that I could learn about how to teach reading and how to teach Calculus within a two hour time span. I love all the possibilities. It just makes me happy.

I am aware that the convention can also be an overwhelming, scary place full of too many options. So I have decided to give to you my list of convention prep. I have been going to conventions since I was 15. For those of you counting, that's a long, long, LONG time. First as a student and now as a Mom, so I have some well used practical hints.

1. Make time with your husband to pray and write out your goals for your home school and your kids. Click on the blog title, "Prepping for Convention Season" for a link to my Family Purpose blog to help you do that. Bring these goals with you to the convention to help you narrow down the choices.

2. Read Debra Bell's "The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling" before you go. It will help you get an understanding of the types of curriculum out there. Veterens and speakers will toss arounds words like, "classical, Charlotte Mason, literature based, unit studies and lap books" and it will give you some understanding of what in the world they are talking about.

3. Go with a friend who has been homeschooling longer than you. Bring your husband. Pay a babysitter, bribe your mother or do whatever you need to do to have your husband come with you. My husband is a life saver at the convention. He sees the bigger picture and helps me to pick curriculum that meets our goals and he carries all the heavy stuff. I love that.

4. Make a list before you go of what you need. Don't go in blind, do the research, visit web-sites, message boards, e-mail me, talk to the lady at church that home schools to figure out what you need.

5. Make a budget - be realistic. I spend at least $1000 a year total on all three kids curriculum although with high school looming that number is about to jump, I fear. That $1000 looks a lot but check out what a private school costs. Some people do it with less, some more. I buy what we think is best for our kids. Sometimes that's the most expensive curriculum, sometimes it's not. Keep your husband out of your budget money. We have more books on the Roman Empire than I know what to do with.

6. Plan to go for more than one day. I find I need the first day for looking around and the second or third day for buying.

7. Our cardinal rule - NEVER BUY MAJOR CURRICULUM ON THE FIRST DAY. No matter what that amazing speaker says, go home( or the hotel room) think about it, talk to your husband, look at your goals and sleep on it. This has saved me a world of trouble. I can't count the number of times I have changed my mind after some thought and prayer and sleep. Trust me.

8. Wear really comfortable shoes and bring a sweater, notebook , pens, caffeine and chocolate. You can thank me later.

9. Plan time to shop. It's tempting to go to all the speakers but you need time to get hands-on with the curriculum. Ask questions of the vendors. Ask the vendors if their curriculum fits your goals. ( I love doing this - it saves me so much time) Don't be afraid to spend major time at a booth, especially if it's going to be your main curriculum ( think MFW, Sonlight, TOG etc). Ask me how much time I spent at the MFW booth before we decided it was the "one". David Hazell knew me by name and sight. It's also okay to just say that you need time with the Teacher's Manual looking at the curriculum. Do what you need to do.

10. Buy fun things to bring home to your kids. Buy a bonnet, a rubber Bowie knife, a game, a new Adventure in Odyssey and a new book to read. They will think conventions are great.

If you are not a home schooler and you just want great, God honoring books, CD's, games, devotionals, parenting books, how-to's on grinding your own wheat, whatever, the home school convention is a great place to go as well.

Hope this helps and hope to see you there!

Categories: parenting

Prepping for Convention Season

I know this is a repeat post, but ready or not, convention season is upon us! 

I am going to tell you that if you don't regularly go to a convention, you should.  Think of it as in-service training.  Actually, at a convention I spoke at last weekend, I had to sign papers for people who came to my sessions so that they got credit for on going training. I thought that was a brilliant idea and I think we need to consider the convention in that same light - on going training! Convention is your time to ask questions, pick people's brains, get your hands on that cool, new curriculum and get inspired.   You also never know what conversations with a  perfect stranger in some  booth will change your life or your children's life.  It is important.  In the words of Shakespeare, " Get thee to a convention!" Okay, lecture over.


For all of you home schooling Moms, you know what's coming? Convention season. 

For some of us, it's an exciting thought, for others it's a dreaded thought. I think we, as home school parents, should go to the convention every year, whether we like it or not. Why? Because it helps us to be better educated and if we don't need the education surely some newbie does and they could use a veteran's advice.

I happen to love convention season. I love going to conventions whether I am working the convention or attending the convention. I love all the books, all the new curriculums and the science kits, oh and the history add-ons and did I mention the books. (Seriously, where else can you buy owl pellets, a how-to knit book, a Bible and Historical comparison timeline, an Adventures in Odyssey CD, and a Laura Ingalls Wilder bonnet? That's awesome - I'm just sayin') I love that I could learn about how to teach reading and how to teach Calculus within a two hour time span. I love all the possibilities. It just makes me happy.

I am aware that the convention can also be an overwhelming, scary place full of too many options. So I have decided to give to you my list of convention prep. I have been going to conventions since I was 15. For those of you counting, that's a long, long, LONG time. First as a student and now as a Mom, so I have some well used practical hints.

1. Make time with your husband to pray and write out your goals for your home school and your kids. Click on Family Purpose for a basic "how to" on creating goals. Bring these goals with you to the convention to help you narrow down the choices.  This is a vital step in deciding to homeschool, picking curriculum and being deliberate in parenting and educating your children.

2. Read Debra Bell's "The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling" before you go. It will help you get an understanding of the types of curriculum out there. Veterens and speakers will toss arounds words like, "classical, Charlotte Mason, literature based, unit studies and lap books" and it will give you some understanding of what in the world they are talking about.

3. Go with a friend who has been homeschooling longer than you. Bring your husband. Pay a babysitter, bribe your mother or do whatever you need to do to have your husband come with you. My husband is a life saver at the convention. He sees the bigger picture and helps me to pick curriculum that meets our goals and he carries all the heavy stuff. I love that.

4. Make a list before you go of what you need. Don't go in blind, do the research, visit web-sites, message boards, e-mail me, talk to the lady at church that home schools to figure out what you need.

5. Make a budget - be realistic. I spend at least $1000 a year total on all three kids curriculum although with high school looming that number is about to jump, I fear. That $1000 looks a lot but check out what a private school costs. Some people do it with less, some more. I buy what we think is best for our kids. Sometimes that's the most expensive curriculum, sometimes it's not. Keep your husband out of your budget money. We have more books on the Roman Empire than I know what to do with.

6. Plan to go for more than one day. I find I need the first day for looking around and the second or third day for buying.

7. Our cardinal rule - NEVER BUY MAJOR CURRICULUM ON THE FIRST DAY. No matter what that amazing speaker says, go home( or the hotel room) think about it, talk to your husband, look at your goals and sleep on it. This has saved me a world of trouble. I can't count the number of times I have changed my mind after some thought and prayer and sleep. Trust me.

8. Wear really comfortable shoes and bring a sweater, notebook , pens, caffeine and chocolate. You can thank me later.

9. Plan time to shop. It's tempting to go to all the speakers but you need time to get hands-on with the curriculum. Ask questions of the vendors. Ask the vendors if their curriculum fits your goals. ( I love doing this - it saves me so much time) Don't be afraid to spend major time at a booth, especially if it's going to be your main curriculum ( think MFW, Sonlight, TOG etc). Ask me how much time I spent at the MFW booth before we decided it was the "one". David Hazell knew me by name and sight while choosing Kindergarten. It's also okay to just say that you need time with the Teacher's Manual looking at the curriculum. Do what you need to do.

10. Buy fun things to bring home to your kids. Buy a bonnet, a rubber Bowie knife, a game, a new Adventure in Odyssey and a new book to read. They will think conventions are great.

If you are not a home schooler and you just want great, God honoring books, CD's, games, devotionals, parenting books, how-to's on grinding your own wheat, whatever, the home school convention is a great place to go as well.
Hope this helps and hope to see you there!

Oh, in 2011 I will be at Colorado, North Dakota, New Mexico, Nebraska, Texas, California and I forget who else (there should be a couple more...). If you are also at any of these, come find me.  I can be found at the My Father's World booth or they will (probably) know where I am.  I love to put faces with names.
Categories: parenting



Categories: parenting